A month down...

I can't believe it. It's already been a month and i feel like i haven't accomplished anything!!! I know i've done somethings like registered with the police, gotten a bank account, completed el curso de español, found a flat, and hooked up my internet. But beyond that i haven't really done anything. I've attended one class so far that i need. Tomorrow i will go to another class--about cinematography, i believe.

But i guess the real reason i feel so much like i'm spinning my wheels and going nowhere, is for two reasons: one, i've already spent a ghastly amount of money, and two, i'm not getting very far in finding another suitable flat. I've been to visit seven or eight other flats, and there has only been one possible, and in this flat the major strike is that there are four other people living there already and i would make the fifth person. Yes, i remember that  in Newcastle there were six of us, but that flat was twice the size of this one. AND there was a weekly cleaning service that came through and cleaned the bathrooms and kitchen. I'm not sure that i want to take the chance on this flat because of the amount of people and the fact that there is no heat and NO, i repeat NONE, A/C for the summer heat--which i find an impossible thing. Because from what i understand the summers here are ridiculous.  And i'm well aware of Georgia summers and trying to endure one of those without A/C is suicide. So won't be doing any of that here, friends.

I've been to see a flat today, and really the only downside of things is that one of the flatmates smokes. Sure, she only smokes in her room, they say. Yeah well, i know what that is and a big ol' hell nah to that one as well. I'm very well aware of how air currents work.  The owner was very nice, though.  He and his boyfriend were very pleasant.  But a great attitude won't keep me from sweating to death in the summer heat, unfortunately.  That's another reason i'm looking to leave the flat i'm currently in.  There is no heat here, nor air conditioning.  And it is really a shame. This flat is nice, and super cute. I honestly think that.

But the major, major issue for me is that i don't have any privacy. Not really.  The other two girls have proper rooms--doors that shut, and curtains.  Nobody has to pass through their rooms in order to get to another room or to a shared or common space.  You see, the patio is common area, very much like the sofa and TV are shared items.  So at any time, either or both of the girls could come in and use this space, regardless of my being present or not. Which is troubling.  Already it's happened that one of them has entered into MY space and touched something of mine without permission, under the excuse that they were unable to wake me and they had to turn of the heater, as it was consuming just way too much energy.  We discussed this--well, portavoz and I discussed it, the voice of the two, as the other girl is just a shadow of a human being--and afterward, the portavoz wrote me a lovely little letter expressing her sympathies for what had happened.  And admittedly, their attitudes have changes considerably for the better.  However, it should not have taken an almost riot for them to change their attitudes.  I mean, they can't even be bothered to speak in a common language to the three of us while i'm in the room. Its fucking rude, quite frankly.  And regardless of whether their change in appearances is genuine or not, i'm afraid it's too little too late.  First impressions are quite hard to change sometimes.  And well, my first impression of the two of them was rather poor.

And then there's Donald.  My wonderful new friend, who's also in the GSU-UMA exchange program. He's very fun to be around and very helpful with Spanish--as he's a grad student who also teaches elementary level curses at GSU.  But. But...there is a problem with him, too. He's really great when he's happy, but when he's a Debby Downer, well! There's just not pleasing him. And that's potentially detrimental to me because I'm really trying to like it here in Málaga. He can't--and won't--be convinced to do otherwise.  I mean everyday he's crying about how much he hates it here and how much he wants to go home.  Then he'll tell the story about how he was in Madrid, like, two years ago and got sick and got robbed and returned home after three weeks, after having given up.  And you know, after an experience like that, i can't blame him.  That really sucks.  But now that you're here in a new situation, in a new time and place, don't you think it's time to let some of that go?  I mean, otherwise, what the fuck are you doing here?? Why did you come?
For me, Málaga--up until very recently--has been a disappointment.  Overall, I will say that my stay here has been less than great.  But i'm not sure if it's because of one or two specific things or just everything all at once. But if it's the latter, then i truthfully can't say that it's Málaga that i'm not enjoying, it's all of the little shitty things that keep affecting my situation here. And i want to be, and i'm trying really, really hard--objective about my experience.  I want to like Málaga--hell--I want to love Málaga. But with Donald around that will be hard to do.  His moods are very affecting sometimes, and i really don't want to spend the majority of my time pouting when i could have been having a really amazing time.

And yes, i do complain a lot about my flat and flat mates, but also i'm actively trying to change my situation for the better. Yes, it's tiring searching for another flat, but if it's what i have to do to be happy, then dammit, it's what i'm going to do.  I didn't toil and stress myself the hell out so that i could fly eight thousand miles to be miserable for five months.  It's too much mother fucking money. And too many people have helped me get here.  I won't piss all over their efforts and mine that way.  The way i see it, the very least i can do is enjoy myself.

*Big Sigh*

Not to mention, it's tougher not having close family and friends around for support. The time difference is killing me, because i can't readily talk to my best friend. I have to wait until 1:30am to see if she'll get on Skype. That part sucks. But i'm making new friends, so i'm hoping they'll be able to fill some part of that gap. Also, a boyfriend would be nice... Just throwing that out there. If the internet gods are listening, lols.

Hopefully, though, once i really start in with my curses at UMA, i'll be distracted in a good way and my spanish will pick up quickly and i'll be able to start having a better time. Also, i think if i'm more diligent with my posts here it will help me keep my head on straight and my mind on track to be able to focus on good things and important issues.


*ihopeihopeihope*